Major General Meltdown

My name is Major General Meltdown, but you can just call me Erin.

I am a highly decorated veteran and known for such meltdowns as, "Why Won't You Get a Manicure for the Wedding?!" "The Dog Ate My Cole Haans!" "The Dog Ate my Scott Sandals!" "What Do You Mean You Threw Away an Entire Set of Dishes?" and most recently "Please Stop Leaving Your Boots at the Bottom of the Stairs Where I Trip on Them Every Time I Come in the House."

I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I feel that my career is reaching its zenith at this point in my life. Without pregnancy, the "Boots Incident" never would have happened. Neither would have the "Your Dad Will Love This Christmas Present, What are You Talking About?!"

With each brilliant career, it happens occasionally that innocent bystanders get hurt. Toes get stepped on. Shadows fall over shining faces.

It is at this time that I would like to offer a Purple Heart for Valor to Richard J. Desvousges for barrelling headlong into crisis after crisis, even in the face of insurmountable odds, as was particularly the case with "Please Change the Garage Lightbulb," and "You NEVER Take the Garbage Out," coupled with "You are SO Inconsiderate!" Never shying away from a meltdown and choosing the best option for resolution, whether it be hiding out until the storm has passed or confronting the situation as it stands. Richard, please accept this medal as a token of my deep appreciation for the services you have provided and will continue to provide. Your commitment is honorable.

Well done, son. Well done.

This is Major General Meltdown, signing off.